David H

The pain David feels every day is so bad, he’s researched how to amputate his leg. 

“It’s like having red hot electricity pulsing from my knee, up into my lower back and down into my toes. It makes me feel physically sick. For a grown man who did 16 years military service to be curled up in a ball crying, that's the sort of pain I feel daily. 

“I can’t sleep, I can’t do anything. I’m on so much medication it affects my memory, my mood, everything.”  

David served with the Royal Engineers and completed a tour of Iraq during Op Telic. He lives with his wife Joy and their youngest daughters, Lillie (17) and Alice (10). 

After spraining his knee badly in the Army, David was forced to go back out on exercises even though a doctor had told him to rest. The nerve damage this caused has affected him ever since.  

He’s awaiting a diagnosis, but it’s thought he has complex regional pain syndrome. A condition that causes severe and long-lasting pain, usually as a result of an injury.  

Exhausting 

“It’s exhausting being in pain all the time. Every doctor says something different, and nobody really seems to care. I’ve been told it’s all in my head – that there’s nothing wrong with me. 

“The nerves are smashed up and there’s nothing anyone can do. I’ve had injections up and down my leg, physiotherapy, hydrotherapy. I’ve tried everything. I can’t wear a brace anymore because the leg’s too sensitive; so now I’m stuck in a wheelchair. 

“I can’t function as a father, husband or friend. The pain drags me down that much, I want to take my own leg off.” 

Vicious cycle

As well as the daily agony from his knee injury, David has PTSD from an incident in Iraq when he saw a child get hurt. 

“I knew I wasn’t right. One minute I’d be angry. I wouldn’t know why but I was so angry. And the next minute I was crying like a baby and just couldn’t stop.”  

Needing someone to understand how he felt, David reached out to the Padre.  

“I remember him looking at me and saying: ‘Well, you’ve got two choices. You either get back out there or you go on the lash with your mates and forget all about it’. 

“My pain and poor mental health feed off one another. It's a vicious cycle. If I'm having a low day with my mental health, the pain feels worse. It limits what I can do, and I become a recluse and don’t exercise.  

“On bad days, my 10-year-old daughter helps me get dressed. On really bad days I can’t wash myself.  

“At the moment, I'm missing out on my kids growing up. I can't take the youngest one to a park because of my PTSD, and it's all the little things that mount up.” 

Losing a brotherhood 

The Army was David’s world. But unable to keep up with the physical side of military life, he took the heart-breaking decision to leave.  

“My life was ripped away. The brotherhood formed in the Army, you don't get anywhere else. Having that taken away from you, you're lost, and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. It was like I had withdrawal symptoms.” 

After the Army, David had a job inspecting military vehicles and radio equipment, which he loved and excelled at. But he was forced to give up his work because of his injuries. 

I’m not on my own

Support from Help for Heroes has given David ‘a large portion of his life back’. He first heard about us through another veteran called Paul who has also been supported by the Charity. David and Paul met through online gaming, and took part in Invictus Games trials together.  

“I've been lucky enough to do a sleep awareness course and a pain management course through Help for Heroes. I've also been granted counselling and progression on to EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) to help with my PTSD.  

“My occupational therapist got in contact with the local council who are coming to make adjustments to the house. Widening doors, ramps being put in, modified toilets, things like that, which people take for granted, but for me to be able to wheel through the kitchen door is massive. 

“My nurse, Karen, is chasing up a full diagnosis for me and has arranged physiotherapy to stop my left leg from worsening. She’s helping me see all the specialists I need. I’ve learned more in three months with a specialist physio rehab company than I have from the NHS in 15 years. 

“The support I've received from Help for Heroes has brought me closer to my wife. I've got a stronger relationship with my girls again now.  

“I’m starting to make progress with the counselling. Without Help for Heroes stepping in and fighting my corner, I wouldn’t be where I am today.” 

Hope for the future 

“My biggest hope for the future is to get back to work so I can provide for my family and be the husband and father I used to be.  

“Help for Heroes is like a family. I’m not just a number, I’m a real person. Having my Veterans Community Nurse Karen, Occupational Therapist Sarah and Counsellor Jo on my side means I don’t have to face my problems alone. They’re amazing and always have time for me. They’re like Valkyries, fighting for me. 

“I can’t tell you what it means to know there’s someone who believes me. And believes in me.

“I’ve got a long road ahead of me and knowing that Help for Heroes are with me every step of the way is incredible."